1 - Doula Deb's First Natural Birth - Navigating the Journey of Natural Birth: Resilience, Support, and Empowerment (Guest: Lindsee McDonald from Wildflower Birth Services)

In this heartfelt and revealing episode, Doula Deb shares the transformative experience of her first natural birth at a birth center. Through her story, we explore the complexities and unpredictabilities of labor, highlighting the importance of resilience, support, and self-advocacy in navigating these challenges.

Join me and guest Lindsee McDonald from Wildflower Birth Services as we explore the realities of natural birth, from the unpredictable nature of labor to the importance of support and intuition. Whether you're an expectant parent or simply interested in the birth experience, this episode is packed with insights and personal stories that will leave you feeling informed and empowered.

Please tune in to the full episode for a more detailed account of Doula Deb’s First Natural Birth, including her reflections on the emotional and physical aspects of natural birth. This story is not just about the challenges faced but also about the incredible strength and resilience of bringing a new life into the world.

Guest: Lindsee McDonald @ Wildflower Birth Services:

• www.WildflowerBirthService.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildflower_birthservices 
• Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildflowerbirths 

Thank you for listening! Tune in next time for more insights and support on your parenting journey.

Contact Information:
Doula Deb: www.DoulaDeb.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doula.deb/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/debdoula
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@doula.deb
Twitter: https://twitter.com/doula_deb

Disclaimer:
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider for personalized advice and information.

Transcript

And today I want to share a deeply personal story with you. The story of my first natural birth experience at the Birth Center. This experience was transformative, filled with challenges and triumphs, and I hope it can provide some insight and encouragement to those of you who are preparing for their own birth journeys. My journey began with a mixture of excitement and anticipation.

When I first went into labor, I was thrilled thinking I would soon meet my baby. However little did I know that my labor would span five days with an unusual pattern of intense nighttime labor and slower daytime progress. It was just like my first when it was like on and off and on and off. Yep. Yep. my doula would come at night and we would labor through the night. I would let my husband sleep and then in the morning it would go away. So she would go

So frustrating. So frustrating. Yep. You know, after a few days of that, I would be laboring at night less during the day. We even ended up having my parents over and we went to lunch a few times. I would be walking along the pier trying to do lunges and get things going. And finally, after about, I want to say two days of this, on day three, we thought, you know, what things are picking things are getting going, we need to go to the birth center and get checked out. At this first visit, we were really excited and filled with anticipation, but I was only a two centimeters dilated. After three days of labor, I was so defeated, but we went back home to labor for a few more days. During those days, my contractions during the day were 10 to 20 minutes apart. and intense, but during the night they would pick up and there was times where they were so intense that my dual was like, you need to sleep. And so I would take, some Benetril to be able to relax and get a little bit of sleep in between. But as much as I really needed the rest, I would wake up to the strongest contraction and it would be so painful. it was really, really hard.

Lindsee McDonald (03:11.31)

It was a really challenging. Because like we know like the best thing to do right before you're in labor or an early labor is to rest like you know people will say we'll go for a walk or do these exercises or bounce in your ball no you need to rest get your body ready for labor because that active labor is no joke but it's so hard when you literally can't sleep through contractions and stuff. I think that was three nights of you know contractions when I would take some Benadryl to relax, it would be anywhere from like 30 minutes apart, maybe 40. But because my uterus got a break, it would just be super intense. And that was like three nights of that. And so by the third day, was just like, that was on the fourth day. By that evening, I was like, this I don't know what the heck and this has got to stop. So it was picking up at that time. And we're like, okay, I think we really need to go back and get checked again. So the car ride to the birth center was terrible again. It was so hard. Every little bump in the road was just terrible. And so we were hoping that I had had some progress over the last couple of days and To my surprise and much frustration, I was still at two centimeters, which again is not the end -all be -all information that we should have gotten at that time, but that's the only information I was given. Because I think if my baby had moved down or I knew my cervix was softer or I knew it was more aphased, I think that would have given me a little bit more hope that all of that time and labor and pain would have been doing something.

Yeah, that would be like a world of a difference on your mindset, right? Yes. And so of course, I was exhausted and I was crying and I'm just like, you know what? I'm not going home. I am not doing it. She's like, well, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. All right. Is there any reason why I can't stay in the parking lot? And she's like, no, you can do that.

Lindsee McDonald (05:33.26)

So my mom went and picked us up a pizza because we hadn't, I hadn't eaten much. And of course I didn't want to eat the pizza when I even got there because labor, just, mean, looking back, I should have been fed more to have more strength. But I walked in the parking lot with a tens unit on my back and music playing so I could just like keep myself distracted. I just didn't laugh.

Can you tell me a little bit more about the TENS unit? Because that's something that I actually never got to experience for myself and I'm excited to use it for clients, but I've never used it on myself and I just recently learned about it. So yeah, the TENS unit, it can be really helpful for some people and other people are like, this is terrible, get this off of me. So we never know how it's going to go. And even if you try it ahead of time, you're like, yeah, I think this is going to be a really good tool.

There's just no telling how it's going to feel and then also different times of your labor. It can feel different. So there's a couple of different theories in that some theory is that you get it on before you're in too much pain and as part of disrupting the contraction pain to your brain and it basically distracts your brain with the stimulation on your back so that the pain isn't sent all the way to your brain or it's less intense.

my experience was it, I had a lot of back labor, so it took some of the pain away from the back labor. And it also gave me something to like mentally focus on or emotionally focus on of like it, and it felt like, I don't even know how to describe it. It feels like a tingly, but not in a bad way. it's like electronic.

Right through your body, right? Signals through your body. These electrode pads. Yeah. Yeah. And they send a little bit of electricity to stimulate your muscles. And the way I can describe the feeling is like, kind of like when your foot is waking up from being asleep, but not the painful one. Just kind of like that tingly like energy of like you're getting the feeling back in

Lindsee McDonald (07:55.032)

toes, but not the hurt one. You know, when it hurts, you're like, yeah. And then with, with the tendency that you can go up or down and in, how strong it is. And so there were points where I would get snapped and I'm like, God, what was that? And it was from the pad, the stickiness was coming off. And so it was kind of like the electricity was like snapping.

So you gotta make sure the pads are all the way on. And then if you do get like that snap, it kind of feels like a rubber band snap. And that just means it's too high and you just need to turn it down a little. But the pregnant mom gets to adjust how much stimulation. And then there's also on these fancy ones, they have patterns. So if you go, -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -d

So that was really helpful for me. I kept it on all the way up until I got in the tub for pain. I like and then my second one, I don't think I used it. I don't remember. I don't think I use it for my second. I just didn't need it. I felt like I was I didn't have back labor that time and I didn't feel like I needed it. Well, so yeah, people say put it on before you're having too much pain to help your brain kind of.

avoid the pain sensation getting all the way to your brain. That makes sense. That's cool. And they're not really expensive. So if you're listening and you think this is a good way to manage some pain and labor, they're on Amazon. They're really not that expensive. Yeah. Yeah. And then some doulas, if you did hire a doula, some doulas carry that with them as part of their support is that you get to use their tennis unit. Yeah.

And then if you have muscle cramps or pain throughout your pregnancy, it's a great way to feel better too. That's pretty cool. Yeah. So at that point, I had my headphones in, I was walking back and forth, I had the TENS unit on, and I just moving was my best friend to keep the contractions coming. But also if I stopped at all, those contractions were really, really painful.

Lindsee McDonald (10:21.838)

but if I kept moving, it actually would, would handle them better. My husband was such a trooper during that because he was walking the whole time with me, like back and forth, back and forth. was wonderful. so at that point, you know, I was like, okay, we need to go get checked again. So after it was about two or three hours of walking, went back in, my midwife was like, yeah, you're

I mean, you're still a two. And she goes at this point and at that point, my contractions had gotten a lot closer together. I was, I was getting lots of moaning and lots of coping with like vocalizing and using, you know, rolling my hips around. And that was really, I was coping really, really well. and she's like, well, you need another dose of antibiotics at this point. And do you want me to break your Why why are you on antibiotics?

I was GBS positive and at the time I didn't realize there was some choices I could have. It was just like, you need these. So I took them. Yeah, that makes sense. And looking back and having years of experience, when I have done it differently, I might have. Just the risk of GBS, I don't know if that's something I would do again.

But that's okay. Yeah. So I got the antibiotics. She said, you know, one change is that your waters are bulging. So your bag of waters is bulging. So do you want me to break your water? Like at this point, it'll just take a little poke because it's like right there. The choice for me was pretty easy because I was like, if those bag of waters are giving a cushion,

and I did have a lot of fluid on board. I had a lot of edema, so my feet and my hands were really, really puffy with lots and lots of water. So it was likely that I had a lot of fluid, amniotic fluid. And so by breaking my water, she's like, your contractions can get quite a bit more intense. hopefully we can have the baby's head align better because I was having lot of back pain.

Lindsee McDonald (12:45.134)

there was likely because my lung labor, he was just kind of improperly. Yeah. So with the water break and the antibiotics, it was within 15, 20 minutes, my contractions went from manageable coping, fine to massively increased in intensity and frequency. And so at this point, looking back, this is

This is when I suspect that my midwife may have administered some Pitocin without my knowledge or consent in the bag of antibiotics. Yeah, that would make sense. Yeah, because it was lot more intense than just my water breaking. Well, and Pitocin contractions are so different than like spontaneous They gave me like a ton of breaks. Yeah. A ton of breaks. And so at that 20 minute mark, I was

This is so different. my God, like I can't, I'm not coping well. Like I need a change. Can I get in the tub? Cause I knew that getting in the tub in the bathtub would be really helpful and help with coping. So she's like, well, I really don't like you in there until after about four or five centimeters. And I said, well, then you need to give me some options. I'm not coping well. I'm not coping

She's like, okay, that's fine. If you really want to get in there, that's fine. Let's get in there. So I walked to the tub, get in the tub and the water's fine. It's filling up. And I was just like, something is wrong here, you guys. And I just remember my code word with my husband because I was going to a birth center and no pain medication is offered at that place. So I said, if I ever get to a point

in the labor and I say, I'm suffering. I need help. need to go to the hospital. My code word was I'm suffering because that's really smart to have. Yeah. And being a doula, I don't view labor as something. I'm literally writing that down because that is a genius thing to do with anybody. Everybody should have a code word because there comes a time in labor transition where everyone says, I can't do this anymore. And I know I was like, cut this baby out of me, get it out of me. But

Lindsee McDonald (15:11.822)

But when you know you have a code word, can say anything you want to say. If you don't say that code word, you can have an agreement that you don't offer me medication unless I say that code word. And if I say the code word, as a support person, what do you want me to do when you say that code word? Do you want me to encourage you that you don't want me to pay medication? Do you really want it? Do you want me to question you? Or once you say that code word, no questions, you're getting

No stop, yeah, I know something like some other things that I've done before it's like if they say, know, if they ask for an epidural I'll be like, okay, give me three more contractions this way and then let's move and let's see how you know, like there's ways to go about that. I think that's so smart. Yeah, I really didn't at the time and I still don't believe you know, labor is meant to have a woman suffer like I know it's hard. know

really painful. know it can be really just hard for women, but if you're past the point of coping and you're suffering, no one should suffer. They should always get the help that they need. at that point in the tub, I was like, this contraction will not stop. I can't catch my breath. I can't. It won't stop. And at that point it was about 30 minutes into a contraction.

my god. It was it was like, I couldn't breathe, like I couldn't catch my breath. And then all of a sudden I felt I finally had some water in the tub. And I felt I was like, I have to poop. And I remember distinctly thinking, I'm gonna poop in this tub. Yeah. And I, no one had ever told me even as a doula, that when you feel like you have to poop, poop, that's your baby.

That you know, I said that same exact thing during my first one like why why is no one saying this that is such a big deal. Yeah Yeah, even even as a doula and I had been to birth prior already That was my other question was were you already a doula? Okay, yeah, and I didn't realize what I mean, I knew that women pooped in labor sometimes or when they're pushing and I just

Lindsee McDonald (17:36.322)

And I had this thing in my head. I didn't want to be the girl who pooped in the tub. And I didn't want to have that. Like, I don't know a scarlet letter about it. Such a common fear. Right. And so now I'm like, who cares? Like, right. Nobody cares. just fish it out. Most of the time you don't even know it's there. Anyway, so I remember holding

and being like, don't poop, don't poop, don't poop, don't poop. Finally, I said, you know what? I can't hold this back anymore. I'm just gonna have to poop. I'm gonna be the girl who poops in the tub and it is what it is. So I remember significantly letting go and being like, poop has to come out by letting go. So I let go and all of a sudden, and I don't remember doing it, but everyone in the room told me later that at one point I just went like,

and I let out a really big roar. And they're like, are you pushing? And I was like, I don't know, am I? And then I let out another roar and they were like, okay, let's stop that. Let's get back to the bed. And so, which at the point I should have, you know, I was feeling so out of it and I kept asking them to take, get a call to ambulance.

they have a shot to stop my labor right because this is not okay and I'm suffering and like help me. And I remember the look on my husband's face. He lost it. well they know in the protection mode. That's something I think a lot of people don't think about is like how the partner is feeling during this time because they are natural protectors and like they want to protect and jump in and stop this and take this pain away from you. And I think they really like undermine how much they also go through during labor and birth. Absolutely.

I actually just asked him a couple of days ago as I was anticipating talking about this and he's like, you know, I've never really fully asked you what that experience was for you. And he like got emotional and he was like, it was really hard. It was really, really hard to see you in pain and knowing and just having that feeling of helplessness of like, know, I know I couldn't do anything for you. and he lost it at that point. He just looked at me and he looked at the midwife. He's like, you need to help her.

Lindsee McDonald (19:58.274)

Like if this isn't happening, we're gonna, we're taking her to the hospital. And I remember feeling so like supported and listened to by that because up until then I had not felt that way. And I didn't, I felt really scared most of the time. And so at that point, you know, we're like, we've got to get something going. So she said, get out of the tub, get on the bed. I want to check you because if you're pushing, I don't want you pushing too soon.

and swelling up your cervix. So got on the bed. She's like, yeah, you're like a nine, nine and a half. And honestly, on this next contraction, I'm just going to see if I can just get this lip to go away and then you can push and it's fine. And so we did that. And at that point, they, that long contraction had stopped, but the contractions were coming so quickly. It was enough for me to like catch my breath.

Like it was like, I'd take two or three big breaths and then my body would take over and push again. And that was really surreal. And I remember my midwife being like, slow down, like yelling at me, slow down, don't push, don't push on this next one, you really need to breathe. And she put an oxygen mask on me. And at that point

got even more scared because I was like, what's happening? I not doing good? Is my baby not doing good? But there really wasn't time to explain anything. And I was just so scared and pushed. She goes, don't push, just breathe. And I tried so hard to not push and to breathe. literally I was like, OK, OK. And I'm like, not to push. And then my body just did

like it took over. that fetal ejection reflex, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I think, again, this relates back to the pitocin. think I was given pitocin because there's no reason for my labor to have shifted so dramatically in a 45 -minute period. it's involved with how many births you've seen and you've witnessed and been a part of and even still, you know what happened to you was not normal. It was not normal. For an unmedicated birth. Now you've seen

Lindsee McDonald (22:21.314)

births with Pitocin, right? So it felt natural. I felt normal for that to happen. Yeah. And it was it was just so crazy intense. So at that point, you know, I think I only pushed maybe I'm have to ask my husband if he remembers because I want to feel I want to say it was like maybe four to five contractions. And he was he was out. And I remember her being like, slow down, slow down. And

I mean, I had no control over my body at that point in a bad way. Yeah. And he came out really fast. Like he was very tiny. was, what was I, 40 weeks and five days. Cause my labor had started on his due date, which I was like, my gosh, I'm gonna have my baby on my due date. gonna be I'm gonna be that gross. You know, I was so excited. And then I was like a week later, I'm like, huh. Yeah.

He was born, but not without complications because I ended up with a third degree tear and he definitely did not get enough compression in the birth canal because he came out and he was panting. And then after an hour he was still panting and he wasn't able to, he had pinked up, but his breath hadn't slowed yet. And while my son was having that difficulty, my midwife,

didn't have any other birth attendant with her or anything. It was just her. So she was having to stitch me up while my baby's not doing great. my God. And my doula, thank God, I trusted her with my life. And now my son, she was over there stimulating him. my gosh. And getting him to breathe. So in all of that, as she's stitching me up, I had no pain medication for the stitching.

I literally felt every single needle stitch and that was, I mean, just thinking of that pain, like that was really, really intense because a third degree tear is not just an easy repair. It's pretty intense. But after about an hour, I honestly don't remember my placenta coming out because I was just so concerned about the stitching and all of the other things. But after about an hour, he was still not...

Lindsee McDonald (24:46.648)

like fully breathing. We weren't urgently worried, but we also were like, by now he should have been slowed down and like really chilling out. And so the midwife was like, we could give him a few more minutes, but honestly, at this point, let's just transfer him and make sure he gets the support that he needs. And so we called the ambulance and I got to hold him.

in the ambulance on the way in the back. we get to the hospital, they did the intake. I mean, he was so tiny. was over 40 weeks, but he was only six pounds. Wow. Yeah. And his placenta was very small. And so I had a big belly, which is why it's like, I think I had a lot of fluid. Yeah. Yeah. And we didn't know why he wasn't

breathing well and they ended up giving him a little bit of oxygen in the ambulance and like back. But honestly, by the time that we got admitted, he was fine. but they put an IV, he had, it was so sad. He had his arm all taped up and he had like an IV and they're like, he's so small. should, you know, let's not, we don't want you to nurse. So because I was not a patient, I almost didn't get to stay with

at the hospital and I got a little bit shame from nurses of like, would you do a home birth, first -center birth? This is why this is what happens even though he was fine. They let me stay overnight with him out of the way they said it out of the kindness of our hearts. know, like, we're not really busy right now. So I guess we can let you stay. But if we need the room, we're going to have to kick you out. And I was like, literally just had a baby.

Right, like my literal newborn is right here. So it was a little over 48 hours. Because I wasn't a patient, I didn't have access to any kind of postpartum care. I had to go home to shower. That was probably the hardest thing, leaving my baby in the hospital. Came home, ate food. Like they wouldn't order food for me. I couldn't get anything. So even though I had a room, it was literally like just a bed.

Lindsee McDonald (27:13.528)

and that they weren't willing to help me with anything. Which is just kind of like having a third degree tear and no access to food. Like looking back, I'm like, what the hell? Well, yeah, because you're not making the money. that's why. It was so sad. That's so shitty. I'm sorry. It was on IV nutrition for a while. First time I nursed, it was painful. And I was like, I think he has a tongue tie.

And the nurses were all like, no, he's fine. He's fine. And he wasn't. And I was like, okay, thanks. You know, knowing full well that he's tied. I'm going to get it taken care of. We finally got to go home. Yeah, that was my first story. But, you know, I'm reminded of how incredibly strong I was and the resilience of the human spirit. So I have a couple of questions.

Yeah. Number one, how did you know? Well, I guess you were a doula so you knew your options. I was gonna say like you chose a birth center for your first birth. And I've been asked that so many times like, well, would you do a hospital for your first and like go, you know, wait a few seconds to do a birth center or home birth. And my answer is always like, no, you don't have to do a hospital first like a trial run or whatever. that mentality though, when I got pregnant, I was a doula and I was

There was just so much, even though I was a doula and I believed in natural birth and I believed in my body, there was still underlying fear of the unknown and ultimately wanting to be as safe as possible. And I knew for my first birth, I wasn't fully comfortable with a home birth. back, mean, was like, that would have been, I mean, the drive to the birth center was the worst.

So looking back, I think that would have been such an ideal situation. But I just wasn't fully comfortable as a first time mom. And so I chose the birth center as that happy medium. But I also don't think it's necessary. If you know about natural birth and you know that you don't want medication, being in your own space is such a big part

Lindsee McDonald (29:39.544)

keeping you calm and the oxytocin flowing to where it's undisturbed. And I think a lot of women, which I don't want to get too far into it because one of the episodes coming up is the option of home birth. But a lot of women don't realize that midwives have like all the life saving things that a doctor would have in the hospital. And they have reconsidation things for the baby and like they are prepared. It's not like someone's just walking into your house

schmojo off the street, you know, delivering your baby. Like, you know what they're doing, you know? And also like, they keep in mind that how far they are away from hospital if they do need that support. And so if there's anything that's popping up like, you know what, there's something funky going on here. They're just going to transfer you. They're not going to wait until the last minute either. Like it's definitely a safe option. But like I said, we're going to get into that in another.

Yeah, I think the more you do research about locations and what they offer is that, know, midwives are not just some lady with, you know, a little Mary Poppins bag to just be like, here's some towels and boil some water. Like, it's not like that. They have all the medical stuff that they need. They have they have pitocin if they needed, obviously, from my story. They typically only give it to

after you have your baby to help clamp down your uterus if needed. But they have all those things. They have an oxygen tank for the baby just in case you or the baby needs it. They have all of those tools to their disposal, which to me was a huge eye -opening experience for my second one, that it was so nice to feel comfortable and know that I was taken care of well.

Yeah, absolutely. I think I also wanted to just say that like, well, my other question is that like, I know you were already a doula, but having the experience that you did, did it like light a fire into you to really like advocate for women and like stand up for women and what they wanted and make sure they had better care? Yeah, like, it wasn't able to really truly look back at this birth

Lindsee McDonald (31:56.46)

I just was like, yeah, I mean, he came out and he was fine. I think that's a normal reaction when you go through a traumatic experience is that you're just like, everyone made it out, we're all healthy. And so it really didn't give it a second thought for very long time. And it wasn't, it didn't really hit me like hardcore until...

I was pregnant with my second and I was choosing to do a home birth and I had chosen a different midwife who actually had a birth attendant, you know, because that was part of something that made me feel really unsafe, which could have gone really, really bad. So I'm thankful it didn't turn out badly, but that was something that I was like, we're not doing that again. Right. So I've chosen another midwife and

by the time we did our home visit, because the last visit, think it was like 36 or 37 weeks, you meet at your home rather than their office. So they can kind of get the lay of the land. Where do you want to have your baby? You know, they kind of see where they can set things up. And she was bringing a birthing tub. And so she wanted to see where to put it and whatnot. So as we're consulting about...

my upcoming birth, I was like, well, these are the things that happened in my first birth. And what are, what are some things that we can do to prevent those things from happening again? Like what if my baby can't breathe again? Like what would we do? And she goes, from your story, it sounds like you were given something without your knowledge. That is not a normal thing to happen in labor.

Does it happen sometimes? Sure. But like the way that you're describing how it happened, that it happened right after an IV, that's the biggest red flag. The fact that you had been laboring for so long, we know this midwife. So we know that she has done this to other people. Number three, your baby was like, you weren't able to breathe. Like that's not normal. And your body was pushing without your knowledge. Yes, there's a certain level of that.

Lindsee McDonald (34:10.648)

but how intense it was and your baby was having such a hard time transitioning, those are all the red flags. But to me, that was not normal. And she grabbed my arm and said, that's not gonna happen again. I would cry right then and there. I was a hot mess. Yeah. Like, my gosh, how validating. This is the difference between a good provider who gives you individualized care and who is there for you and cares about you and not the money they're making from

Yeah, and she really made it clear that that was not normal. And that was such a relief because that was my last little fear I was holding on to for my second birth. And I just didn't want to go through that trauma. And I didn't realize how traumatic it was to me until that moment that I was like, okay, like, that was not okay. That's not normal. And that's not gonna and I 100 % was like, that's not gonna happen again. And I can feel confident moving forward.

but then I had to deal with the idea that I was, I was abused, medically abused, you know, because that was really dangerous to do with not only - also when you were purposely trying to avoid the medical system by going to a birth center and you were still medically abused. That's terrible. Yeah. And just understanding what happened to

Like number one, it gave me relief of like, okay, that's not going to happen again. But on the other hand, like I was so angry and so upset that I was given something without my knowledge or consent. Like she could have asked me if that was something I wanted to do. And because my labor was just inconveniencing her, guess it was taking too long. Like she could have asked. I might have said yes. I don't know. know, but I was like your voice.

It ultimately was not safe to give medication like that in that setting, in that way, without other medical professionals in the room monitoring. And also monitoring the baby because when you have pitocin, that's one of the protocols is watching the baby's heart rate, making sure that I... You have to have those monitors on. Yeah. So that was really hard knowing that I had been treated in a way that was not respectful. In a vulnerable moment, you know? Yeah, that is hard. Yeah, so...

a lot. was gonna say, you know, you were saying like, when you're having your home birth midwife, you're asking all those questions. And I did that with my midwife, like I asked really hard questions of like, how many babies have you had to resuscitate? Because I wanted to know like, not what you learned in school, right? But personally, like from your experience, have you had to resuscitate a baby? Have you had cords wrapped around their necks?

we know they have. But what do you do in those situations? What do you do in those situations? How many transfers have you had? What's your thought around pitocin? What's your thought around? I'll be labor. What's your thought about around like circle checks? Like, these questions are things you need to ask your provider. And so I did want to say again, like I have that free download that you can get and it has questions for hospital births, home births, it has red flags to look out for. And you can download that I'll link it in the show notes.

But you know when you have that good provider, you don't have to advocate for yourself as hard when you're in that vulnerable moment and you can feel like you're safely giving birth to your baby rather than worried about Are they gonna respect my wishes? Yeah, absolutely. We really interviewed somebody and like feel uncomfortable. In fact, I'm gonna share this because it literally just happened today, but one of my friends

She felt really good with her provider and she was like, you know, my provider knows I don't want to be induced. She respects my wishes of trying to go all natural. She knows that don't want a pitocin or an epidural. Like she's going to really support me in this. And she went in for her 40 week old ultrasound and check in today. And they sent her to the hospital for further monitoring because baby was not moving as much. They were there for a few hours and baby was fine. But then I said to her, I said, do not be for surprise if they try to push.

Inducing on you because you're already there and she was like they're not gonna do that Like she knows where I stand and then she texted me about an hour later and said Lindsay I cannot believe that they are doing this but she did Encourage me to get induced. She said you're already 40 weeks. You're here Might as well go ahead and do it and I don't think exactly because she didn't have these questions to ask her provider She didn't ask if how she felt about induction or whatever. She just assumed her provider would be on her side and unfortunately

more often than not, like you get stuck with a bad provider or a provider you don't even know. So definitely. What you want to do. well, like seeing something unsafe that I should be considering doing an induction when truly it's just, Hey, you're here. So why don't you just get it going? Do you want to meet your baby today? That's like, well, exactly. They make it sound so positive and exciting. when you're holding in, it's just like three days of induction.

That's the thing that they don't tell you. Like it could be literally three days of waiting and exhaustion and not getting sleep. And painful, painful could have been home resting for three days and then your body was ready at the same exact time. it's so tough. And there's just so much fear around like being at your due date, which those are just guest dates anyways and whatever. We'll get into that another time. But I also wanted to say that you and I both had some pretty terrible first birth stories.

but I want to let listeners know that we both had a very redemptive second verse. absolutely. Those will be coming soon. Yeah. And what I think really taught me the journey was trust, patience, and how important unwavering support was, not only from my partner, but my doula. I mean, she would come be with me and then go and do other things and come back and be with me.

It was so helpful. But it also taught me to really embrace the unpredictability of labor and to trust my body's innate ability to bring life into the world. Even without the argumentation, like my body was still going to do it. And I 100 % trusted it until things didn't feel right, you know? Yeah. And I should have listened to my gut with that for sure.

so I hope that this story provides some comfort and inspiration to those who are preparing for your own births and how to avoid some of these situations, to find a place and find a provider that you feel a hundred percent comfortable with and that, you know, your innate ability to birth your own baby, to listen to your gut. Yeah. Every single.

birth journey is unique and there's no right or wrong way to experience it. You just need to trust yourself, lean on your support system and know that you have all the strength that you need within you to navigate this incredible journey. Yeah, that was beautiful. I think that like in law so much in our medical system is listening to your intuition and how big that can be because turning into yourself during labor and like listening to your own intuition is really all you need. Like that will

you'll figure out what positions to get in and what you need and what you don't need to do and those sounds and those roars and those movements like all the straight up intuition. hopefully listen to your gut. hard part is just stopping to listen to it, to listen to what your body's telling you and how to just stay calm and comforted however you can. So that's it.

Any other questions? I don't have any more. I think I asked them, but I really, I was glad to listen to that. And I'm sorry that happened to you. And I'm so proud of you for getting through it and for taking that into your business and using your experiences to help other women. sure. Thank you so much for joining us for this episode of the Birth and Baby podcast. If you have any questions or you'd like to share your own birth stories, please reach out. We'll put all our contact information in the show notes.

But until next time, take care and remember that you are stronger than you know.